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Going off Lexapro?

Today Ewen woke up depressed and didn't want to take his Lexapro. We decided that he didn't have to and went right to look up what else we could do. I ordered something called KalmPro off some website. It seemed ok.

He had a friend over but they were both quiet and played separate video games all day.

Ewen has been playing this game Ag.ario all day. He records his games and puts them up online. Today he skyped with a kid 9 hrs outside of our timezone with a french accent and they teamed up on Ag.ario together.

So he is doing cool things but he was depressed regardless all day. Now he is talking with a friend on FaceTime and they are playing Ag.ario together.

I dont' know how to feel about taking him of the Lexapro. Before it was like, in 3 weeks we might have relief but now I have to search for it again. I called and acupuncture specialist who was recommended, and emailed her. I also left a message at some chiropractor who I always thought was BS but my friends swear by him and that he helps their kids just by poking their arm or something.

I looked up places to go to Yoga and of course he is saying NO WAY I HATE YOGA. But I think we should go anyway, even though I really don't want to pressure him into anything right now.

He still will only eat smoothies because his throat is so tight from anxiety that he can't swallow anything. I don't think he will eat dinner with us. I'm not going to make him because I remember when I was going through my bad anxiety I couldn't sit at the dinner table.

He still has the Propranolol if he is anxious. But I think it makes him sad. I stopped taking it a while because I realized it was causing depression. But it was the only thing to stop his panic.

I dont' know how things are going to go now. I have no idea. He probably won't magically get better on his own. That is for sure. I'm going to homeschool him until he is stable but not looking forward to trying to homeschool an anxious and depressed 10-year-old. Maybe he will get better.

He is playing Ag.ario now. He doesn't like to stop playing video games until right before he has to go to sleep because of the "bad thoughts". So I look at the clock and wonder if he is going to play for the next 3.5 hours, wonder how to intervene properly

As for me and my hubby, we are spent. Two weeks of crisis mode is intense. I see a future of hell with this. I suppose I have to keep my bad thoughts in check and think, one day at a time. He doesn't have cancer. We have different resources here in town, lots of homeopathic things to try. Maybe this Kalm Pro will work??

But when I am dealign with the anxiety of this I take my Buspar (which isn't approved for children or shown to help at all or something). And I haven't taken an Ativan in ages but I have taken 2 this past week just to be able to sleep. So I get relief through medicine while my son suffers.

I'm so worried.
-me.

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