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Got Help

500 mg Augmentan  (antibiotic) and 100mg Diflucan (for yeast). This is for 2 weeks then back to the Zithromax. 1.5mg melatonin, fish oil, probiotics (minelinx) and magnesium with B6 I took Ewen to see Dr. W today and she examined him and saw his decline. She changed his antibiotics for 2 weeks and put him on diflucan since he is craving sugar like a maniac. Last night I was really down, then at 5am, our cat who had disappeared two weeks before, was on our bed. We were overjoyed to have her back and she was so skinny and dehydrated. She drank for ages, then ate for a long time, then drank for a long time again. She is less than 9lbs now the poor little thing. She is doing very well tonight after eating pretty much all day long and drinking and sleeping all day. She is getting her mew back and is being so affectionate and happy. So that helped make the despair dissipate a little. So Ewen went to sleep a little more easily tonight and said he did want the melatonin but not the cCo

Sick Again

It's happening again. It started a few weeks back and we increased the frequency of the dosage.  Then he got food poisoning 2 weeks ago and went to the ER vomiting blood. He was treated and out the next morning and bounced back quickly and it seemed to even help his PANS. But then it seemed to come back worse and 3 days ago he asked for his clonidine again. He's had it every night and tonight he wanted to take it earlier than our usual medication time, because he wanted something for his anxiety. He told me that trash was bothering him too and told him that his night light might short out and cause a fire. He was so brave when he was vomiting. You wouldn't believe it. But his mental anguish from PANS is worse to him than vomiting blood. I don't think that doctors realize that. Here is this joyful amazing  and brilliant child and he gets tormented by his own brilliant amazing brain. I wish I could just take it form him and bare it myself. I would do anything to eas

A Little Catch Up

4ml prozac, probiotics, melatonin, magnesium, D3 oil It has been a long time since I posted. Ewen is still doing well and seems to regress a bit the last day or two before he takes his antibiotics again. He still takes 500 Zithromax once a week. We tried breaking it up into 250mg over 2 days but that didn't work for him at all, he got anxious again and even got some tics back. He is still doing well in middle school although he is getting a B in math which is weird. He is in a grade ahead with math...in the advanced 7th grade math class. But it is still strange he isn't getting an A. He is getting an A in all his other classes though. The only reason he has a B is because he doesn't go back and check his work before he turns in a math test and makes dumb little mistakes that could have easily been caught with a check-over. But I don't want him to become like the overachiever on the Breakfast Club so I just say, a B is good too...but check your tests before you turn

The Chair of the Pediatric ER Wrote Back!!!!!

Ms. ....... Thank you very much for bringing your son’s case and experience to our attention. First of all, I hope that Owen is still doing much better. I absolutely understand how devastating this could be in terms of a missed opportunity to appropriately diagnose. I have to say that in reading your email and updating my knowledge about the condition, I could see how it may be quite difficult to make a diagnosis accurately in an Emergency Department setting and I could see why things occurred in the manner in which they did. That said, I am very sorry that we let you and your family and your son down in this way. Our Pediatric Emergency Department are staffed by a group of very expert pediatric emergency medicine specialists trained in some of our nation’s leading teaching institutions who I was able to recruit here to ...........  to take care of our community. I know that the fact that we were not able to expeditiously diagnose your son’s condition caused a great deal of an

I Wrote a Letter to the Chair of The Pediatric ER We Took Ewen To When This All Started:

Message: Dear Dr. ...... In December 2015, I believed it was  December 22nd , my husband and I brought our 10-year-old son, Ewen, into the emergency room at ...... Pediatrics. We explained in triage that he was having panic attacks back to back for the past 3 hours and now he was saying that he wanted to die. Triage admitted him and then he was given a room. By the time a Dr. came in, Ewen was asleep. My husband, Mike, and I were beside ourselves with worry and shock. Ewen had always been our confident, popular kid. He was on the Gold travel soccer team, made straight A's in school and was a source of great joy in our family. He had always had an obvious love for life. He was the kid we did not have to worry about. But suddenly, late in December he had his first panic attack while playing his trumpet in a band concert. The next day I was called to pick him up from school because he didn't feel well and on the way back to the house he said he thought he had been bitten by a tara

Check Up Appt.

(magnesium B6 chewable, fish oil, broccoli sprout extract, 2mg melatonin, probiotics, 250mg Zithromax, 4ml prozac) Ewen had a Dr. appt with his pediatrician this past Tuesday. I asked her if we were going to switch up the antibiotics so that Ewen doesn't build up resistance to them and she said that the current science with PANS to keep using what is working. I told her that the 500mg Zithromax was hurting his stomach a lot and so she changed it to 250mg over 2 days taken at dinner time. We are also going to bring his Prozac down to 3ml's if he does OK on the new Zithromax schedule. Mike was worried about liver damage with prolonged use of Zithromax so she said we should check Ewen's liver function every 6 months. Mike also asked about IVIG and she said that insurance won't pay for it and the nearby University hospital isn't interested in it and doesn't believe in PANS and PANDAS. Over the past few days it seems like he has been working harder than usual

Grateful

Prozac 4ml's Today Mike and I were talking about how Ewen has his happy glow back again. It is amazing to see. I wish I could have known at Christmas that we would get him back. I can't even describe how grateful I feel.

Update

Update (4ML Prozac, fish oil, 1/2 magnesium, melatonin, probiotics) Middle school is going well.  Ewen isn't too stressed out by it and is actually enjoying it. He seems completely back to normal these days except for he is very spacey. That is the one thing that hasn't been resolved with the antibiotics. I wonder if it is from the Prozac? I love that his school posts every homework assignment online and I get emails about it so I can make sure he isn't missing anything. He is in the gifted, 7th grade math class and said he loves it. He's ridden his bike to school a few times but they don't have lockers at his school so his back pack has become too heavy for riding. Mike fitted a basket on to the back of his bike today so Ewen will be able to ride his bike to school again. I'm feeling much better. I'm taking 20mg of Prozac and 300mg of Wellbutrin and 10 mg of Buspar (which is barely any).  My psychiatrist said that she wants me off everything in a

First Day of Middle School

(4ml prozac, fish oil, probiotics, 1/2 a magnesium, 1mg melatonin) The last post I was so happy about how well Ewen was doing and I hadn't give him his antibiotics in 2 weeks. The next day he told me he was getting some of his symptoms back, such as anxiety and trouble with eating. I gave him his 500mg of Zithromax that night and two days later I asked if he was OK now after there antibiotics and he said, yes. That made me realize once again that these antibiotics really are helping and he really does have PANS and he really does fit the symptoms. I am so glad that there is something out there that can help him, although I feel odd giving him so much Zithromax. I hope it is OK. Today Ewen started middle school!! I can't believe he is a 6th grader now. We also got a puppy. I wanted to get a golden lab since I had one as a child and also because they are often used as therapy dogs for kids with autism and with anxiety. So I figured that would be good for our family. Well Mike

Luckiest Mother on the Planet

(4ml prozac) My boy is joyful again. He is happy and content and he can fall asleep at night by himself. He still has some mild tics but he barely huffs anymore and even his nose twitch was barely there today. He was like his old self, before all this started. I have not given him more antibiotics in the hopes that we can back off from them now. Yesterday the 5 of us went to the beach and a family that we didn't really know was there with some of our friends. A father that I had just met commented on Ewen who had been boogie boarding for the past hour and he said,"That kid really loves the water eh?" I thought to myself that it was only a few months ago that "that kid" thought he was going to drown in the bath and wouldn't even go out onto my parent's patio because it was too near the pool. He was even afraid of rain. But yesterday he was in the big waves of the ocean all day. Today he swam in the pool and played water soccer with a friend for 2

Update

(500 mg Zithromax, 4ml prozac, fish oil, 1 Advil) I gave Ewen his antibiotics at 7:30pm and within an hour he had a headache and a stomach ache. He was also watching a scary TV show which he he shouldn't have been since he is so sensitive and that might have triggered his ailments. It was about a kid his age who was kidnapped by some kind of monster so it was pretty bad...he stopped watching it. I massaged his head for him and he was fine within half an hour of taking an Advil. Yesterday he was twitchy going to bed and through the day today he huffed a bit. But tonight when he wasn't feeling well and I was massaging his head, he wasn't twitchy at all and I wonder if that was the Zithromax working...or if it doesn't work that fast. He had a nice day today hanging out with 2 of his soccer friends. They looked for Pokemon on their bikes but the server was down. So they played video games and I took them swimming at my parent's pool.  He had yet another good day.

Amazing Things Today

(probiotics, 100mg b12, just under 4ml Prozac) It is 1:43 am. Everyone is asleep and I just finished watching a terrible movie on my phone. It is an old one, where the phones are still home phones and the characters go to video stores to rent DVD's. Then I took some Advil because I have been getting cluster headaches and random migraines for the past few days. So I will try to go to sleep after the Advil kicks in. Hopefully I won't need another migraine pill. Today Ewen played his 3v3 tournament and they won first place. They beat the state 3v3 champs apparently...which is good.  But I wasn't there. Mike was with him. It was 95 degrees out there and they played 6 games. Somehow Ewen survived and did well. Last night Ada woke up at 3am again and didn't even go back to sleep when I gave her another melatonin. So I was up with her for a few hours and she finally fell back asleep at about 7:30 am. Then she slept until 1:30 and had to be at her music camp show by 3pm.

Ewen Doing Very Well....And Trying Not to Blame

(just under 4ml prozac, 1000mg b12) Today there was no huffing and very minimal twitching. He seemed pretty much like the old Ewen today. He can relax and chat, smiles and laughs all the time and he connects with his friends and loves to play Magic The Gathering with them. He didn't need constant screens today either. I never game him his Zithromax this past Tuesday so I am wondering if he is going to be OK without it. He seems to not feel well for the first two days after he takes the 500mg pill, then gets better by the 3rd. But maybe he doesn't need to take it anymore? I need to call his pediatrician and talk to her about it instead of just taking it all into my own hands. But so much of this is observation that it seems ok to make decisions for him. We don't want him to be on such strong antibiotics forever...but we don't want his progress to wane either. I think I will give him the next 500 mg pill on Sunday...after the tournament and then see how he is on Monday.

Good Day Good Summer - And My Oldest

(Just under 4ml prozac) Ewen has been doing fantastic. He has been hanging out with my sister and her family and talking and engaging with them. He has gone in the pool several times at his own will. He fell asleep on his own tonight and said that he felt rested and happy to fall asleep. I love that. His facial tics ( new nose twitch too) were in full form tonight. But he didn't huff. Maybe he traded the huffing for the nose twitch. My oldest (age 13) is going to a girls indie music camp this week. It is from 9am-5pm and on Monday when I picked her at 5pm up she started sobbing in the car and said she didn't know why. She said she loved it  but it was too long. I guess it was too much because she had to socialize for 8 hours (she has autism) and that was a bit much for her. Then she cried while trying to go to sleep at bed time and cried again at 4am. She was so depressed that I had to sit up with her at 4 and I got out her old baby books like Goodnight Gorilla and Goodnigh

Another Good Day for Ewen and My Secret Neurosis

(4ml prozac) Ewen had a good day. This morning he fairly reluctantly went to pick up soccer with Mike at the field near our house. I felt worried that I had encouraged him to go when he didn't want to. But when he returned with Mike he was drenched from head to toe with sweat and dirt and had the biggest smile on his face. He said he wrecked everyone and scored a hat trick. Mike nodded in agreement. This was just like the old Ewen, way overly confident and finding humor in telling us how great he was. He also disparages himself just as fiercely which makes the bragging bearable. I can't even describe the joy of seeing Ewen like that again after the agony of when he was basically in physical and mental pain after soccer practice and wanted to quit.  Also he was so broken he only put himself down for a long time. It's not like that now. He had a friend come over after soccer, who is spending the night right now. He is a great kid and they mesh well. I am not doing so

Today's Basics and a Few Blessings

(Fish oil, probiotics, 4ml prozac, melatonin) Ewen did better today than the past two. He was just a little twitchy going to sleep and was able to hang out at Starbucks this afternoon without begging for a screen to look at. I told him I thought he had lost the ability to entertain himself so he said he was going to try. I told him last night that to go to sleep you have to be calm and let yourself think and then fall asleep. I said to make sure to keep Trash (what he calls his anxiety and OCD) out of it and he agreed. He still needs me to sit in there every night while he falls asleep. So I sit in his bean bag and play Clash Royal on my phone. Today he did well overall I think. I also wonder if it is because we are on the 3rd day after taking 500mg of Zithromax? He was huffing a bit today though, but not all day long and mostly when he was playing video games on his computer. I am still taking Prozac too and it makes me very sleepy. I could sleep all day. It is very hard to get ou

Past Few Days

Tuesday night - 500  mg Zithromax 4ml prozac, melatonin, fish oil, 1/2 magnesium, b12 1000mg Wednesday day, working hard to not be anxious all day, depressed at night. Wednesday night - 4ml prozac 1/4 of a 3mg melatonin, fish oil, b12 Today - Thursday...better than Wednesday but still dissatisfied and "addicted to fun" as he puts it...always needing to be entertained. I took his phone away when he wanted to play in the car. I didn't want him to go from his computer screen to his  phone screen and never be looking away. I worry when he feels like he has to distract himself all the time. After his first dose of Zithromax he was in bad shape the first two days then better by the 3rd. Tonight - 1/4 Clonodine (I wanted him to sleep better tonight after his depression and freak out last night).  fish oil. He is still awake. It is 10:40 and he fights going to sleep and he fights getting off the computer. I am still doing better on the Prozac but it makes me tired and

Crummy Day Bad Mom

(4ml prozac, less than 1/4 clonodine) The clonodine helped. It is hard to write in here tonight. Today is July 4th. It has been a very bad day. My youngest cried all day and listened to no one. She is 7. My oldest kept telling me she was depressed and Ewen said he was having anxiety again tonight and I gave him a clonodine for the first time in a long time. I forgot to get him his new prescription of Zithromax that he was supposed to start today. I looked up the supplement my Oldest is taking for her cycle, evening primrose oil. One of the side effects listed is depression. So even though it is helping her skin and hair, we are going to stop taking that. So tonight I feel like a bad parent. If I could just get up in the morning things would be better but I am very fatigued...throughout the day I am too. I will try drinking more coffee tomorrow. Maybe that will help. Today I am glad I take Prozac because it was one of those days that the whole family falls completely apart. I a

Out of the Hole

( 4ml Prozac, fish oil, 1/2 magnesium, probiotics, 1mg melatonin) Today Ewen went to a birthday party a couple of hours from home and had a lot of fun. He hung out with his dad a lot today which is what he used to do before he got sick. When he got sick he completely switched from Mike to needing me 24/7. He was not interested in hanging out with Mike. Daddy was all about watching soccer, playing soccer, enjoying everything that Ewen was good at and going out and having fun. Mommy was there to make sure he was feeling OK. So he switched from Mike to me. I realized this morning as Mike got up early to get Ewen's soccer stuff together and go to the store to get a present for the party, that he was taking over his old role as Ewen's care taker. I like that because Ewen has to be so active all the time that I don't have time to spend with the girls. So if Mike focusses on Ewen with his crazy social life and activities, I can focus on the girls and everything else. It was re

June 29th, Wednesday. He's Doing Fine

(1000mg b12 dissolve tablets from Trader Joes, 4ml liquid prozac,  1mg melatonin) Today was so hectic I wasn't very good about giving Ewen all his stuff...fish oil, probiotics, magnesium etc. But he went to sleep fairly well with no fuss and not even really any huffing.  He never swishes saliva anymore when he goes to sleep thank goodness. He seems to be doing OK, a little bit dissatisfied with "boring" things and wanting lots of breaks (he didn't go to band camp today). But he is in a good place I think. Sunday he will start his once a week....500 mg zithromax. I have been tired...Prozac makes me very tired and I haven't been very good at getting up in the morning...I half love lounging for hours and half hate it. But something that I did today which was new, was float on my back, by myself in my parent's pool and look  up at the sky and the trees. The sky was so blue and the very tall tree branches were swaying in the breeze and the green was as saturate

Awesome Summer Day, Saturday June 26th

(3.8ml Prozac, 250 mg Zithromax probiotics) So Ewen mostly huffs when he plays video games, but doesn't really otherwise. Tonight he went to sleep fairly calmly without tics bothering him a lot. He still points his toe and straightens his leg and bounces it up and down a bit. He still flexes his muscles a bit and huffs a bit. But it is mild and then he drops off asleep. He didn't even have a melatonin tonight. I sat in the beanbag in his room and played the game, Clash Royale, the game I learned when he was sick, so that I could have something to talk to him about.  Now he barely plays it anymore and I'm addicted to it. I sat there until he was asleep. I don't know why the kids want me to watch over them as they fall asleep. My youngest is 7 and still wants to be hugged to sleep. After dealing with Ewen's anxiety and depression, I don't say no to them anymore when they ask for my arms. I hug my little girl to sleep at night and sit in the bean bag in Ewen'

Quick Overview

 Wednesday June 22nd 2016 3.8 ml prozac, probiotics, 250ml Zithromax, melatonin He was a huffy today while playing video games but not huffy otherwise. Tonight he got twitchy and a bit huffy going to sleep but not too bad. 

Today, Tuesday June 21st, Another Good Day

(Prozac 3.8 ml,  Zithromax 250mg, probiotics, melatonin 1mg) Mike didn't want to give Ewen his zithromax yesterday because he wants to back off on how much he is getting...but he starting huffing again last night and was huffing again today. So I gave him the 250 mg today and we will see if he is huffing in the morning or not. That will suck though if he has to have the full 250 every day to keep the PANS at bay. I went to the dr today because I have a swollen lymph node in the back of my neck that has been there for kind of a long time. I told her about what happened with Ewen and she had never heard of PANS or PANDAS. I was surprised that she didn't know anything about it. She said that there were two types of mycoplasma titers...one of them showed that there has been an infection in the past and one of them shows that the infection has been recent. If it shows it was in the past then it doesn't matter she said. I wonder which one Ewen had. I will ask his pediatrician

Things Going Basically OK Still

(4ml prozac, probiotics, 1/2 magnesium, 2 drops of D3 250mg of zithromax) Ewen has been going to soccer camp this week and he likes it. He has been a bit more twitchy and I am going to give him a Zithromax today. He hasn't had one since Saturday because I was going to do what he Dr said and just give him one a week at 500mg. But when he doesn't have one for a couple of days he gets more and more twitchy. He has a weird nose tic now too where he scrunches it a lot. I want to come down on his prozac since that has been linked to facial tics but he is happy and I want that to stay. I am also taking Prozac and I really like feeling calm about stuff instead of worried about things all the time. But it affects my motivation too. I am loving this summer. We can all get up at whatever time we want to. We took Ewen a bit late to camp this morning. I'm not going to worry about rules or responsibilities...just relaxation and fun for a while, especially since we can't affor

School Finished, First Day of Summer Vacation For All 3

4ml prozac, probiotics, 1/2 a magnesium Today Ewen had his CBT/therapy appointment with Kari. She was happy to hear all the stuff he is going to do this summer starting with soccer camp next week, then band camp the following week and gaming camp after that. Summer is very expensive when you have 3 kids. My oldest will be doing a girl rock band camp and my youngest is too shy to do any camps. Ewen has been huffing a bit today but not a lot. He huffs more at night when he is tired. He is teaching Magic Cards to his older sister with autism. I think this could be her ticket to being a bit social. She won't have to talk to people, just play the game if she learns Magic. So even though all she wants to do is play the Sims all the time, I've asked her to take 10 minutes a day to play and learn Magic. She is agreeing to do so and I hear her asking Ewen questions and actually doing it. So I have been taking Prozac too and I can see why Ewen wants to stretch his muscles a lot and

Awesome Two Days - Tuesday and Wednesday 6/8/16

4ml Prozac, probiotics and half a magnesium The Magnesium seems to really help. Yesterday was an amazing day. Ewen came with us to his old school where his little sister was having a smoothie end of 1st grade party with her class. And he said, "I'm going to see my old class". I came with him to the other building and went in to ask his old teacher if it was alright first. I explained about Owen's PANS and she said that her daughter has PANDAS and took antibiotics for a year. I couldn't believe it. She said that they were going to have a last day of school party and he could join them for that and he could use her phone to call me when he wanted to go home. So he went in the room and he class all exclaimed with happiness and one boy with autism who loves Ewen got up and hugged him. I thanked the teacher and Ewen gave me a happy wave goodbye and I left joyously that he was going to have some closure with his class that he left so abruptly at Christmas time and

Monday, June 6th

4ml prozac, 1/2 magnesium, probiotics, advil for his sore throat but his huffing completely stopped after the advil. There is a tropical storm moving through and I didn't buy bottled water at the grocery store today because heck, it wasn't a hurricane or anything. But now our tap water is brown so we are drinking the water that I filled the Brita Filter with earlier today and no one had baths tonight. It is raining and raining in torrents. We had to move the cars because the street is flooded. My youngest is still in school since she goes to a public school. Thursday is her last day and I am hanging on by my fingernails till then. Oh to be able to all sleep in for a few mornings. That will be so deluxe. If it is raining like this tomorrow morning it will be oh so hard to get out of bed. But her class is having a smoothie party tomorrow so we can't be late for that!! The house is a mess because I have to finish a video and I am so uninspired by it that it is dragging o

Hope...and They Should Have Known

(4pm 4ml prozac,  9:30pm probiotics, 1/4 of a 3mg melatonin) Didn't take zithromax today because didn't have it and didn't want to give it late at night incase it hurt his stomach to do that. Mike showed me this article he found and I wish I would have read it in the beginning when all of this started: https://iocdf.org.pandas/ It validates everything and I can't believe it is taking the medical community so long to catch on. The neurologist we went to see was skeptical and one of those doctors that isn't interested in something new...just wants to go by the book and explain it with answers already in his playbook, even if they only cover up the problem instead of going to the root of it. I wasn't impressed. The innovators are the doctors who read and learn and discover the most up to date issues and treatments. I can't believe a top neurologist was so unversed about PANS. He kept calling it PANDAS too and I had to correct him numerous times that it wa

Awesome Day and First Sleepover Since He Got Sick

(Morning probiotics, 4pm 4ml's of prozac, 4pm 250mg Zithromax) This morning Ewen was happy getting up. He was excited about his friends coming over for a swim hang-out at my parent's house that afternoon. It was the first weekend we have had in a long time that wasn't taken up with working weddings or soccer games/tournaments etc. It was amazing to not have any plans. So Mike painted the deck in the back which was getting gross and it looks much better. We all helped him this morning, including Ewen. He actually painted for a while too. He brought his iPod out and played some techno music while we worked. I love his music but Mike would much prefer some Gram Parsons or anything more mellow. We went to Grandma's and Grandpa's at lunch time and 3 of his friends came over. They ate lunch then played Magic The Gathering for about 2 hours before getting in the pool and they were a rowdy bunch. They are more rowdy that Ewen but he still had fun with them. His older si

Friday and Saturday, May 27th and 28th

(4ml prozac 4pm, 250mg Zithromax 4pm, probiotics and magnesium 7pm) So Friday morning at 10am we sat down in one of the rows of white chairs in the pretty courtyard of Ewen's school. The flowers were blooming everywhere and the weather was perfect.  We were getting ready to watch Ewen's 5th grade graduation ceremony at his little private school that my parents were able to help send him to for the last couple of months of this school year. He still has 3 days of school left next week but they are pretty much gong to be "fun" days.  After his graduation ceremony in the mid morning, we all went out to lunch with my mom and then they went swimming at her house for a while. I told Ewen that we were going out to go get Pizza for dinner and he said he would rather stay home and do nothing. He ended up reluctantly agreeing to go though and we met some of ours and his friends there...the friends that go to Waldorf schools and don't really play video games.  But they wer

Huffing Less Again, Thank Goodness!

(Probiotics 8:30am, Prozac 4.1ml at 4pm, Zithromax 250 ML at 4pm, he will have probiotics and melatonin and magnesium at 9pm) Well after my major worry freak out last night and not being able to sleep, today Ewen woke up huffing only a couple of times. Then when I picked him up from school he was huff-free again. I can't believe it. I was so worried that we were back to the huffing tic again but it looks like yesterday was the exception and not the new norm. As we drove home from his school this afternoon I told him that we have to pick up his sisters from Grandmas's. I asked him if that was OK and he said he really didn't feel like it. I told him that before all of this, before he got "sick" that he was much more positive. I said that before he would have said, "yeah cool!" Then I told him that when he got sick and he said he didn't want to do something, it was because he was feeling horrible and I listened to him and kept him comfortable as muc

The Thing Is...

The thing is, before all this, Ewen has been such a joyful person. He is the kid who is up for anything and who other kids like to be around because he loves to play sports and also to learn and participate, especially with science.  He participates in discussions in class and is funny and confident but not annoying. He is kind but not sappy. He has a strong sense of justice but also enjoys snarky jokes. What this PANS seems to have affected the most is his keen awareness of everything around him, his joy and his confidence. If you look at him now he seems like a regular kid...maybe a bit twitchy but he still plays hard and works hard. He socializes. But as his mother I see that he has a new edge to him. He is just not completely happy. He has a wall up that protects him from the world and he is in constant defense mode. He knows that he can be distracted from his dissatisfaction by looking at screens so he does it more now than he has ever done it before. It makes me want to ban all s

Huffing Again Oh No

8am probiotics, 4pm 4.2ml Prozac, 9pm probiotics and 1/4 of a 3mg melatonin It is 4am and I can't sleep because I'm so bothered that Ewen started huffing again this evening after not huffing for at least a week. He's also dissatisfied again and hasn't talked about having a fun day in a while. Everything is simply tolerated. But he did have fun playing dodgeball in PE yesterday. Possible Reasons: 1. I put the prozac up to 4.2 today instead of the usual 4ml 2. The Clonodine is wearing out of his system (although it never seemed to help the huffing anyway and his other tics still seem relatively ok) 3.The antibiotics aren't as effective 4. I gave him a children's probiotic for the evening dose instead of the usual probiotics from the dr.'s office. 5. I stopped giving him the magnesium when he went on his school trip and haven't given it to him since 6. Ewen's teacher told me that when she saw him eating on the school trip he ate all junk food,

Constant Distratction

(4pm Prozac 4ML's, no Clonodine for the past 3 days! 250mg Zithromax) Ewen went on his class trip and he and Mike were gone from Wednesday night to Sunday afternoon. The class trip ended on Friday and they went to the next hotel for Ewen's soccer tournament. He was pretty beat when he got home and asked to stay home from school on Monday. I said we would see. I let him sleep in this morning until 9:30am when he woke up, then I took him into to school at 10:30. I texted his teacher and she was fine with it. I even got him breakfast at Starbucks. But at 2:15 I got a phone call from the school that Ewen was't feeling well and I needed to come pick him up.  When I picked him up we got him the car and he told me he just needed a break from an overwhelming 5 days. This irritated me because he wasn't sick and he only had about an hour left of school that he didn't stick out. When we got home he went to his computer and I started to worry if he just couldn't handle no