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Awesome Summer Day, Saturday June 26th

(3.8ml Prozac, 250 mg Zithromax probiotics)

So Ewen mostly huffs when he plays video games, but doesn't really otherwise. Tonight he went to sleep fairly calmly without tics bothering him a lot. He still points his toe and straightens his leg and bounces it up and down a bit. He still flexes his muscles a bit and huffs a bit. But it is mild and then he drops off asleep. He didn't even have a melatonin tonight. I sat in the beanbag in his room and played the game, Clash Royale, the game I learned when he was sick, so that I could have something to talk to him about.  Now he barely plays it anymore and I'm addicted to it. I sat there until he was asleep. I don't know why the kids want me to watch over them as they fall asleep. My youngest is 7 and still wants to be hugged to sleep. After dealing with Ewen's anxiety and depression, I don't say no to them anymore when they ask for my arms. I hug my little girl to sleep at night and sit in the bean bag in Ewen's room while he goes to sleep...because if that keeps them happy and relaxed and safe then I can do it.

Today was such a great day and I found myself feeling happy. I hung out with all 3 kids at my parent's sparkling, immaculate and warm swimming pool, and we had so much fun together. These days it is normal for Ewen to hang out with his sisters at the pool willingly and have fun again, just like before all of this...before he got sick.

I sometimes look at him jumping in the pool and dunking the pool basketball into the floating basket...then diving to the bottom to get rocks and doing flips in the pool, and I remember that it was less than 6 months ago that he thought he was going to drown in the bath.   He was even afraid of the rain.

Things aren't completely perfect now, but they are good and he is happy and I can relax every now and then and enjoy my time with my 3 beautiful children and I also enjoyed laughing and talking with Mike today. I love the summer.

Now I am just a bit worried about my youngest because she often says that she is sad and feels bad. I can't believe I have another one possibly dealing with anxiety and depression at age 7. I will take her to our amazing doctor and see if we can figure something out. I think she also needs some more friends...that will probably help. It is hard being a parent of sensitive kids...and it is also amazing.

-Me.

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