10-Year-Old with Panic (PANS)

Prozac day 17 This weekend was OK, mostly because Ewen's BFF was here. Ewen skipped a birthday party playing Laser Tag in the woods on Saturday because of  his anxiety (too many potential biting bugs/snakes and things in the woods). But he went to the Medieval Faire this afternoon (Sunday) with his BFF and I realized that it is the first time he has been gone for the day away from his family since this all started. I realized because I had to bring his friend's mom 2 water bottles with inositol in it and his propranolol in a zip lock bag...one for 12:30pm and one for 4pm. I was happy that he wanted to go to the Faire but a bit worried too since he hasn't done an all day thing like that since this started. When he came home at 6:30pm he said it was OK. He said he went on a ride that made him want to barf and that the kettle corn and toasted candy almonds that they sell at the Faire were better last year. He was a bit bummed and said that things just aren't as awe...

Today was another "better" day. He wasn't exhausted all day long. Before CBT we went for a long bike ride. CBT was better today than yesterday. Yesterday they worked him too hard but today was good. Today he talked about how he will bring in a Percy Jackson book as a new challenge, as he has stopped reading because he is afraid that the books gave him panic attacks and/or added to his anxiety. So that will be his challenge, to read them in the safe environment with everyone around and see if he does OK. I'm not sure too much about this one because maybe they did lead to his break down. Who knows. But he also enjoyed reading them and I don't want him to be afraid of reading books. Also he ate a granola bar without spiting any of it out because of the "lump" in his throat. He did well and we went home happy today instead of fried like yesterday. We picked up his sister from her tutor's house then we went to homeschool park day. They met the kids ...

Today is the end of 2 full weeks on Prozac. I changed the time of the dosage to dinnertime since he was getting so exhausted during the day. But tonight while sitting in bed he told me that he couldn't read a book and concentrate on it because he had "extra energy". I realized then that he meant that he was too jittery to read. That made me realize that we still have quite a ways to go. Maybe in 2 more weeks the Prozac will be working well enough to take away his jitters. Who knows. I just want him to be comfortable again. His CBT today was a little outrageous and I'm still irritated by it tonight. I'll write about it tomorrow. Too grumpy to write about it now. He took a bath again tonight. He is back to taking one every night now. He was supposed to repeat, "I'm gonna drown" for 45 seconds while in the bath today for "homework". I don't know if he did but I kind of think that they should have let that go. He is actually enjoying hi...

I'm at gymnastics with the girls so I don't know what is going on at home with Ewen and DH. But I will tell you that today so far with Ewen has been good. I'll start with the bad...he still can't swallow his food properly because it the "lump" in his throat. But aside from that, today he was comfortable in his own skin, enough so that I was able to set better video game and screen limits. He was much happier and hopeful. We picked up his friend from school and they played Agario and "ruled the server" together. They went on a bike ride and also raced bikes up and down our street. I gave him only quarters of propranolol since he wasn't anxious and because I didn't want him to get tired and depressed. I'm sure the Prozac is helping his anxiety already. Maybe it helps that I give him 8 scoops of inositol a day too. Yesterday he was zombie-tired so I held off giving him the Prozac and he is going to take it at 7pm tonight instead of he morni...

Ewen's "homework" for CBT today was to see if he could take a little bath. He said to his therapists that morning at 11:00 am that he would be fine. But at about 4pm he started to lie on the couch in our living room and roll around, his excessively long bangs swishing about his tired eyes, saying, "I'm NOT anxious about taking a bath I just don't think it is WORTH me taking the time to do it! It just isn't worth it!" He was in a pretty bad mood at 4pm so I just left it at that without any comment beyond, "OK", and we ended up taking a bike ride and the subject was dropped. His friend came over at about 5:30 pm and put him in a very good mood. So when his friend left at 7:30 and after Ewens' sisters had taken their baths and I started to run his, I went and reported to him that I was running his very warm bath (how he used to like it) and from his computer on the desk in his room he said a bright, "OK!" I thought, that...

Today was the first day that we actually gave Ewen the full 1ML (which is the same as 5MG) of Prozac. He did fantastic in the morning and his anxiety is much better. I am starting to ween him off the propranolol since that is for the anxiety symptoms. Also his hives seem to be better...very minimal but I will watch him closely today. The problems we are having is that by noon his is exhausted...just completely utterly zonked. And he still is having swallowing problems making it miserable for him to eat. He feels like he has a lump in his throat and it is hard for him to get the food past it and down his throat. The swelling symptoms got better for a few days after acupuncture but are bad again. I just read too that a feeling of having something stuck in your throat can also be a side effect of the Prozac. So I wonder if this kid is ever going to relax and enjoy eating again anytime soon. This is his daily medication routine now: 9am 2 scoops of inositol and a little less than ...

Today we went to finish Ewen's CBT intake appt. It takes about 20 minutes to drive out there and I made sure to not arrive too early as Ewen is very squirmy and uncomfortable in the waiting room. As we were chatting with the very young counselor in the closet-sized, windowless therapy room, I started to realize that although Ewen has these weird fears, that his main problem is that he has a new hyper-sensitivity / sensory integration problem, that makes things uncomfortable for him, which is one reason he hates water now.  I think that the best treatment for his new sensory issues was definitely the acupuncture. I wish I could get him to go back but there is no use in bringing it up. He has already emphatically shot down all of my attempts to figure out a way to go back...even to just go and talk to her. I have been searching online about Prozac to see if and when it will start working. It seems the absolute earliest would be after 3 weeks, but more likely after 4 and most li...

So the doctor called me back and said that we should just keep give Ewen the Prozac and add Atterax through the hives, as it is an antihistamine and said that they might go away on their own. I reminded him that Owen didn't do well on the Atterax and asked if Benadryl would be OK instead. He said yes but that he would call me back after looking into it further. He said it is very rare for someone to get hives from Prozac. But that's Ewen for you. He said that Ewen's throat will not close up from the Prozac and he won't go into shock from it. I'm a little wary but he's the doctor so I should trust him. I took Zoloft a long time ago and it sucked. It got rid of my anxiety but the side effects were miserable and it was very activating for me (made me feel worse until it finally started working). So I guess we will stick with the Prozac for now and keep giving Ewen the tiny doses and see if the hives go away on their own? When he was little he got hives after ever...

I'm such an idiot. I gave him .2 ML's this morning but after reading more about hives and Prozac, this is a serious side effect and the advice is to stop taking it. I hope I haven't hurt him. I feel terrible. He rode his bike over to his friend's house down the street and I can't even keep an eye on him over there. I wonder if I should tell him to come home but his mental health needs to be thought of as well. This is the first time he has done something like ride to a friend's house so I don't want to mess it up with fear. I don't know if he should go to soccer tonight since the hives come at night. I hate that this is something that can be dangerous. This poor kid. I wish we could just get him what he needs and it work and stop dragging out and being scary.

Today was day 4  of the Prozac. We only made it to day 4 with the Lexapro before Ewen was over it. But I'm only giving .3 ML's so it is barely in his system. He seems to not be having any neurological trouble on it so far, as long at that 4 hour depression spree then amazing recovery 2 days ago (see previous post) was due to the acupuncture and not a weird neurological side effect of the Prozac. I'm 99.9% sure it was the acupuncture, and from his not eating since 11:30am, and not taking his 12:30 propranolol. His amazing evening recovery came after taking his propranolol and drinking a McDonald's milkshake. So....... Yesterday was good. He still isn't comfortable in his own skin but we went to our/his friend's house in the evening so he could learn how to play Dungeons and Dragons. We were there an hour and he pulled me aside and said our code word: bananas, which means he is having anxiety. He wasn't due for his propranolol and he had been taking his inos...

So I took Ewen to see an acupuncture specialist today. She came very highly recommended and so Ewen and I drove out to her house on the other side of town in a neighborhood of hills and trees with lots of space between each house that was built in the 70's. She was very welcoming and happy with an English accent. Her home was tidy and serene and she took us back to a room with the table and lots of space and string heart lights and  string butterflies. She asked a lot of questions about how and when all this anxiety business started then she did some needles in his belly, legs and feet. She did some more talking and then did a couple of needles in his back. He was a great sport about everything. Then she wanted to rub his neck and head but he wasn't so excited about that and said "ow" and that she was pulling his hair. When we left he said that the needles were cool but he hated that she pulled his hair when she was rubbing his head. I gave him some inositol m...

Ewen is in his bedroom editing an Agario video. Since he is doing video editing I'm calling it a part of homeschool. I also have some work for him to do on the dining room table this afternoon. We have his first acupuncture appointment this afternoon. It is going to cost $90. I'm not sure if it will do anything to help since today was our 2nd day of Prozac and I am sure that meds interfere with natural and holistic treatment. But we will try. Maybe it will help? I'm giving Ewen barely any Prozac this week to start off with. It comes in a liquid and we are supposed to be giving him 1 ML...which apparently is very low. But yesterday I gave him .1 ML, to get his body used to it. And today I gave him a smidge under .2 ML's. There is no reason not to titrate it so low. He is so ultra sensitive that I want to give his body time to get to know the drug before we put it up enough to make a difference. He did so badly on the Lexapro that I think this is the right way t...

Tuesday Dec 22nd Benadryl 10 ML's 9:30 am Benadryl 10 ML's 1:00   1/2 propanol 3:12 1/2 propanol 4:17 1/2 propanol 6:14 1/2 propanol 8:55pm 1/2 propanol 10pm Sleep at 10:50 , worried, eyes hurting, swallowing still bothering him. Loose stool at one point. Took Jeff and I to get him to sleep with music and calm story but no panic attack. Nightmares. Swallowing excessive saliva all through sleep all night long until the morning.  Wednesday Dec 23rd 1/2 propanol 8:40 am 1/4 Lexapro 8:40 am At 11am, not panicky and didn't need more propanol he said. But he can't swallow food through tight throat. Had some smoothie for breakfast. Wants to keep head in iPod video games and constantly chew gum to control excessive saliva. 1/2 propanol 1:10pm still can't swallow food. Had a bit of a smoothie for lunch. But happy and not chewing gum for saliva. 1/2 propanol, 4:50 pm he said he was thinking bad thoughts so he knew he needed it again. 1/2 propa...