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A Better Day



Today was another "better" day. He wasn't exhausted all day long. Before CBT we went for a long bike ride. CBT was better today than yesterday. Yesterday they worked him too hard but today was good. Today he talked about how he will bring in a Percy Jackson book as a new challenge, as he has stopped reading because he is afraid that the books gave him panic attacks and/or added to his anxiety. So that will be his challenge, to read them in the safe environment with everyone around and see if he does OK. I'm not sure too much about this one because maybe they did lead to his break down. Who knows. But he also enjoyed reading them and I don't want him to be afraid of reading books. Also he ate a granola bar without spiting any of it out because of the "lump" in his throat. He did well and we went home happy today instead of fried like yesterday.

We picked up his sister from her tutor's house then we went to homeschool park day. They met the kids there who were all spectrumy and lovely and accepting and kind. So Ewen and his sister were happy to hang out with them. They played "lava" where they ran around the tables in the shelter and couldn't touch the ground. The parents were all like...should we be letting them run all over the tables?...oh well they are having fun and no one is getting hurt at this point anyway.

Really all day long he seemed to be pretty even-keel and not anxious and not depressed. It is always a bit harder at night and he had his friend here for a sleepover and so he was angry at me for enforcing the 9:45 lights out bedtime rule. I don't budge with that. 9:45 is late anyway and if there is one thing that needs to be consistent with all of this, it is his bed time.

I am really glad that we have had 3 days that seem to have lots of hints of normalcy and low anxiety levels. I don't know if it is the CBT or the Prozac, but something is bringing his anxiety levels down and allowing him to experience a little bit of fun again. He isn't angry and upset all the time. He is calming down.

Tomorrow DH and I are working and we will be leaving Ewen and his sisters behind with his grandparents.  I think it will be OK but I'm nervous to leave him without a friend to distract him the whole time like when we went away to film a few weeks ago. I'm glad we went to Grandma's yesterday when I left him for half an hour, as a CBT challenge so he can start to feel comfortable there again and not like he is going to have another panic attack.

Last night he woke up and came in our bed. I hope the Prozac isn't waking him up and switching to evening was the right decision.

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