(Fish oil, probiotics, 4ml prozac, melatonin)
Ewen did better today than the past two. He was just a little twitchy going to sleep and was able to hang out at Starbucks this afternoon without begging for a screen to look at. I told him I thought he had lost the ability to entertain himself so he said he was going to try. I told him last night that to go to sleep you have to be calm and let yourself think and then fall asleep. I said to make sure to keep Trash (what he calls his anxiety and OCD) out of it and he agreed. He still needs me to sit in there every night while he falls asleep. So I sit in his bean bag and play Clash Royal on my phone. Today he did well overall I think. I also wonder if it is because we are on the 3rd day after taking 500mg of Zithromax? He was huffing a bit today though, but not all day long and mostly when he was playing video games on his computer.
I am still taking Prozac too and it makes me very sleepy. I could sleep all day. It is very hard to get out of bed but of course I do. Coffee used to make me horribly jittery and basically insane. But now I can drink it in buckets and it does nothing. So my Dr. prescribed me 75mg a day of Wellbutrin to add to the Prozac. I took the Wellbutrin this morning, drank some coffee, then ended up falling asleep for over an hour when I just lay down on my bed for a second.
Even though I got 8-9 hours of sleep last night and a few during the day today, I am exhausted now at midnight. I read that this kind of tiredness can be due to depression...but I don't feel depressed. I suppose the fact that we are buying groceries and gas on the credit card right now is a pretty damn depressing, but we are going to get a large payment to cover it in a couple of months, after our next work project. I suppose sometimes the fact that my oldest has autism and that Ewen huffs a lot during the day and I don't know if he is getting better or worse again, can get stressful. But the truth is, I have 3 beautiful and mostly healthy children who are loving and brilliant. Nothing is ever perfect. My children are sensitive so I have to give a lot of my time and energy to them. But that is more of a privilege than anything else.
So I count my blessings and there are many. I have a supportive and loving husband, 3 amazing children, a roof over our heads, crickets singing in the front yard, cute cats, the kids have decent clothes and shoes and I have a loving family. It is a blessing that there is medication to keep the painful and terrible anxiety at bay so that Ewen can be comfortable and I can focus on my family and on healing our hearts from Ewen's PANS. Best of all right now, my sister and her family are coming to visit on Sunday from Brooklyn and I can't wait to see her.
Ewen did better today than the past two. He was just a little twitchy going to sleep and was able to hang out at Starbucks this afternoon without begging for a screen to look at. I told him I thought he had lost the ability to entertain himself so he said he was going to try. I told him last night that to go to sleep you have to be calm and let yourself think and then fall asleep. I said to make sure to keep Trash (what he calls his anxiety and OCD) out of it and he agreed. He still needs me to sit in there every night while he falls asleep. So I sit in his bean bag and play Clash Royal on my phone. Today he did well overall I think. I also wonder if it is because we are on the 3rd day after taking 500mg of Zithromax? He was huffing a bit today though, but not all day long and mostly when he was playing video games on his computer.
I am still taking Prozac too and it makes me very sleepy. I could sleep all day. It is very hard to get out of bed but of course I do. Coffee used to make me horribly jittery and basically insane. But now I can drink it in buckets and it does nothing. So my Dr. prescribed me 75mg a day of Wellbutrin to add to the Prozac. I took the Wellbutrin this morning, drank some coffee, then ended up falling asleep for over an hour when I just lay down on my bed for a second.
Even though I got 8-9 hours of sleep last night and a few during the day today, I am exhausted now at midnight. I read that this kind of tiredness can be due to depression...but I don't feel depressed. I suppose the fact that we are buying groceries and gas on the credit card right now is a pretty damn depressing, but we are going to get a large payment to cover it in a couple of months, after our next work project. I suppose sometimes the fact that my oldest has autism and that Ewen huffs a lot during the day and I don't know if he is getting better or worse again, can get stressful. But the truth is, I have 3 beautiful and mostly healthy children who are loving and brilliant. Nothing is ever perfect. My children are sensitive so I have to give a lot of my time and energy to them. But that is more of a privilege than anything else.
So I count my blessings and there are many. I have a supportive and loving husband, 3 amazing children, a roof over our heads, crickets singing in the front yard, cute cats, the kids have decent clothes and shoes and I have a loving family. It is a blessing that there is medication to keep the painful and terrible anxiety at bay so that Ewen can be comfortable and I can focus on my family and on healing our hearts from Ewen's PANS. Best of all right now, my sister and her family are coming to visit on Sunday from Brooklyn and I can't wait to see her.
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