(gave 3.5 m'ls instead of 5ml's...only did 5 ml's for 4 days)
I am sitting here in my very quiet, very messy house, a little stunned. I dropped Ewen off at his new school this morning for his shadow day. There we saw Amira's old 5th grade teacher who gave us a big hug. There was a desk there waiting for Ewen and it was between two other boys who looked remarkably like Ewen...kind of medium height for an 11-year-old, skinny and cute, one with fair hair like Ewen's. The classroom is so sweet with an entire wall of a huge window looking out to bird feeders and a bird bath, trees and the playground is off to the side.
Ewen knew where to go since he had been to that classroom many times with his sister and he was excited. I had told him this morning to try and breathe through his huffing or maybe try and cough instead. I don't know if I should have done that. I don't know if today is the right day he should be trying to control his tics. But they were getting so loud and this morning before school he did try to breath through the huffing a bit and it seemed to help some.
I'm worried though because he woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. So he only had 5 hours of sleep last night, and this was after a rigorous soccer practice. He should have slept really well. A friend wanted to come over today after school for a playdate but I said, no. I figured he would need some down time after a full day of a new school on barely any sleep.
So I sit here and it is so weird to have time ahead of me to clean this disgusting mess of a house and to finally get some work done for the business too. It is strange that I'm not leaving everything to go on bike rides or jump on the trampoline or organize his homeschool learning schedule.
I hope he is doing OK sitting in that desk since he has been so squirmy with sitting recently. Over the past few days we weaned off the Propranolol and cut down the Inositol a lot. He said he doesn't need it anymore. But last night he said that he thinks he probably needs it at night. He was huffing very forcefully and tapping before each huff and smacking saliva around in his mouth last night while going to sleep. It was pretty disturbing to look at. I would take him off the Prozac if he wasn't telling me that he felt good and the tics weren't bothering him. I give him Melatonin to help him fall asleep but I wonder if that is what makes him wake up in the middle of the night.
So I will put some music on and go and clean this house and open the windows as it is a beautiful day outside. I will try not to think too much about Ewen and just send my loving thoughts his way through the day.
Update: I picked him up and he was very ready to leave. In the car he said it was OK but he doesn't want to start for a few weeks. I said that he was supposed to start tomorrow. He said he wanted some time for the side effects to get better, then he would go back. He said he would start on Monday. I agreed that Monday would be good. DH and I talked about how bad Ewen's huffing and tapping and stamping is and we decided to put his medicine down lower. Tonight I gave him 3.5 ML's instead of 5. We need to get him back to being comfortable again. I have been phasing out the propranolol but I gave him one at 8pm in hopes he would be more comfortable going to sleep tonight and DH thought he was, as he was the one who sat in the chair next to Ewen's bed as he fell asleep. I wonder if one day that Ewen will be able to go to sleep again by himself. He actually has always been pretty anxious about going to sleep at night.
Tomorrow we will go on our bike rides and have a nice day together before he starts school for real next week. I hope my little boy gets better soon.
Comments
Post a Comment